Revealed: How Lagos Sharp Guys Woo Girls Inside Danfo Buses

 

The guy arrived at the motor park and met a half filled Danfo bus with a few passengers. We were all waiting patiently at the Ikeja bus stop. The bus heading to Obalende on Lagos Island was taking too long to fill up. But what can we do but wait?

The motor park milled with people. Area boys and street urchins were harassing drivers and conductors. Vendors of beverages were shouting themselves hoarse and practically coercing agitated passengers for patronage.

In my end of the bus, I poked my head outside to avoid the I-don’t-know-strange odour emitting from the bus. Another sweaty guy has just arrived; He stood outside and surveyed the bus I look at him closely. He was disheveled. There was a gaping wound in his arm which he had not bothered to treat. Then to my horror, he mounted the bus and headed for my direction.

I prayed silently for him to change his mind. But he sat close to me and for a moment, I was almost choking. I poked my nose out of the window to avoid the stench only to be confronted by a beggar who pleaded for money to cure his prostate cancer. A bag of urine with a tube dangled loosely from his groin. Much as I had tried to avoid the bedlam around me, I was confronted from all sides by the chaos.

Then, from the gloom appeared an angelic figure that seemed to have come to take all my troubles away. Yes, she was a thing of beauty. Her figure eight was visible under the tight gown she wore. Eyes turned in her direction as she stood outside the door of the bus. She enjoyed the attention.

She peered in and surveyed the ramshackle inside. Realizing how dirty the bus was, her face broke out in a frown. But she entered nonetheless.

 

She picked a seat in front of me and sat gingerly–aware of the attention. I observed her closely as she whipped out a top range Samsung phone and began fiddling with it like a toy. Her nails were out of this world. Beautifully designed. She handled the phones stylishly.

All the while, her jaw moved to the rhythm of a mouthful of candy. In the midst of my obsession with the beau, I had forgotten about the guy that had stood outside of the bus all this while. He had been aiming for the seat beside the conductor.

He did not want to 'enter inside'. But all that changed as soon as the girl moved inside the bus. Like a bolt out of the blue, the guy who had all the while been standing at the door had appeared beside the girl. So that is the trick. You stand long enough at the door to see which babe is agreeable enough. Then as soon as you spot one, you spring into action like a tiger and sit beside her. The guy initiated a conversation but the girl was not responding.

Occasionally, she will remove her earpiece when the guy ask a question or say something. She will put them back even as the guy kept pestering her. At a time she would laugh, at another, she frowned or ignored him altogether. Then finally she removed the earpiece and the discussion seemed to come alive.

I was thinking to myself. I like this guy, his tenacity and perseverance. The girl had been putting up a front., but it soon dissolved like sugar in hot tea with the guy’s persistence.

In a Obalende, I watched as the two alighted and walked together for a moment and stood laughing to exchange numbers. Some guys can be very smart.

Written by: Bayo Olupohunda