You Have A Wife But Married Another Women In Secret And Expect Her To Be Okay With It, Does It Make Sense? - Nigerian Man Asks Muslim Men

Shamseddin Giwa , a marriage therapist, has criticized Muslim men who marry other women, sometimes secretly, without seeking their wife's consent and expect them to accept the decision.
 
According to him, the situation is fast becoming the most prominent source of marital issues.

“Muslim man is permitted polygyny and it’s his right to seek it. However, there is no compulsion in marriage so you cannot force a woman to accept a decision on polygyny you made! It’s the same way you cannot just approach a random woman on the streets and force her to marry you,” he wrote.
    
It is emotional blackmail to try and arm twist women by claiming since a man is permitted she has to accept it in her marriage.
    
She doesn’t have to accept, it’s your responsibility to make her become okay with it.
    
If your husband standard is good enough to go into polygyny, it will be good enough to convince her without trying to bully or coerce her into it.
    
You can have multiple wives in quantity but not really have any quality connection. A jack of all trades type.
    
Marriage should be beautiful and loaded with positive connections and loyalty, not a man struggling to hold on to women who are forever in a state of unhealthy competition trying to amass the most for themselves in their own disconnected emotional bubble.
    
You are the one seeking polygyny, there are women who say they don’t mind and they desire it. Does it not make sense to just begin with such women from scratch?

Why don’t you discuss it upfront? You’d hear them say “you don’t know the future”. Yes, you may not know the future but you know the possibility. Prepare for that possibility, marry from scratch only a woman who desires polygyny too. That way, if you do desire it in future, you won’t have a problem with your wife and marriage.
    
I attend to marriages daily and this is fast becoming the most prominent source of marital issues. We should learn as a society and make it better.
    
Don’t get defensive, open your mind and think about it; you got caught having extramarital sex and you suddenly claim you have a right to polygyny, does it make sense?
    
You have a wife but went to marry another women in secret and expect her to be okay with it. Does it make sense?
    
You bring home the woman a wife has always complained about which you denied having an affair with after so many years as someone you want to now marry. Does it make sense?

You have a right to polygyny, she has a right to decide if it works for her or not.