First dates are like job interviews or business meetings in the sense that the parties involved, whether consciously or unconsciously, assess each other to know the kind of person they’re dealing with.
These assessments are vital as they determine the impression the other party will have of you, as well as whether or not you can go on a second and afterwards, subsequent dates.
Here are five tips to help you out:
Be yourself
Being one’s self should be easy but it can get tricky. Keeping in mind that your date is drawn to you because of who you are will help you to breathe and be yourself.
Avoid overthinking the right outfit to put on, the type of food you should order, or even saying the right thing. Your primary focus on a first date should be enjoying being with your date as well as getting to know them better.
Remember that being your true self requires transparency, which in turn, reflects the kind of person you are.
Be clear about your goals, ambitions, dreams, fears, career, background,philosophies, etc, when conversing with your date.
Clearly and truthfully communicating with your date invites them into your world, helping them make up their minds about whether or not they want to be with someone like you.
Dress comfortably but put an effort in styling
During first dates, individuals may not realise how significant their appearance is. On the other hand, we often underestimate the power dressing comfortably has on a first date experience.
Dressing in your most comfortable and stylish clothing will put you in a great mood as you’re both confident and happy about your appearance.
Listen attentively
Communication is an art and listening is an important part of it. The greatest memories both yourself and your date will have from the first date is communication: verbal and non-verbal.
Because communication is a key component of a first date, it is important that you speak clearly as well as listen attentively. The major hindrance in effective communication is not listening properly.
To listen attentively, pause to let your date speak when it’s their turn to speak. Avoid trying to cut them short with questions that might be ringing in your head to ask.
The problem with focusing on questions to ask your date while they’re speaking is that you miss out on the important elements of the information they pass across and end up asking irrelevant questions.
Another thing to avoid is going on about yourself. You don’t want to be that person who went on and on about their terrible day at work throughout the date.
Body language and eye contact
Most confidence-boosting tips recommend looking at the other party in the eyes. And this is for a good reason. Looking at people in the eyes increases their trust in you. This is because your date will be able to better read you as you converse.
Also, maintaining eye contact signals to your date that you’re interested in what they have to say.
Body language makes up about 55 percent of human communication. Make sure to be conscious about the message your body movements and gestures give out as well as those of your date.
Keep an open mind
All first dates do not necessarily have to lead to a second one.
Keeping this in mind will help you clearly assess your date. Do not be in a hurry to cover up your loneliness by going on subsequent dates with the other party if you have doubts about this person’s character and your compatibility after the first date.
Keeping an open mind before, throughout the date, and afterwards, will help you properly maintain a balance in how you relate with your date.
Be aware that because you both are different individuals from different backgrounds and with different ideologies, either of you might not feel drawn to the other after the rendezvous and that is okay too.
Avoid feeling bad if your date decides not to see you anymore or go on subsequent dates: this only means that after spending time with you, they have come to realise you aren’t a good match for them.
***